Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Special Places in Hell

There are special places in Hell waiting for some of the actors in this story:



Likewise, for actors in this story,


http://nyp.st/2tksCIx


to which the backstory, from a reliable source, is that this innocent girl struggled through her school career with learning disabilities. When it came to getting accepted to high school she had a very hard time. Her parents had to beg to get her accepted. Finally one school agreed to accept this girl. A few weeks into school the principal called up this girls parents to inform them that she is being kicked out for various reasons. One of those reasons is that this girl ate in the pizza shop instead of taking home the pizza to eat it at home. You can imagine what her other infraction were all about. Her parents tried sticking up for her behalf but they were talking to the wall. Her parents were horrified and devastated. They begged the school to keep her until they find a different school that would accept her and keep her dignity. The school refused to listen. This broke this poor girl completely and her parents relate from there on it was downhill. She was out on the streets with no school and found friends who finally accepted her and saw her talents. Those friends weren't in the best shape either. However she was still in deep pain, and therefore she hooked up onto drugs which was like a bandage to her boo boo. She liked the way the drugs left her feeling and it became her new escape. Her parents tried everything in there power to ease her pain. She had just come home from rehab after being there for 2 years. Despite all of that she couldn't fight the demons of pain and she succumbed to drug overdose.

Update:


RHM has blogged this at http://haemtza.blogspot.com/2017/07/the-root-cause.html


It is worthwhile to consider in this context this must-watched video:


20 comments:

  1. Thankfully in Jerusalem there is a Beis Yaakov for girls who were kicked out of their Beis Yaakov.

    Run by Tzadkoniyos who put up with everything you can imagine, and really work hard on befriending the girls. (In the hope of influencing them, but it's not a precondition.)

    Clever people. E.g.: the dress code/uniform includes 3 different color hoodies (when possibly hoodies got them ejected from their previous place.). Or: No school on Friday, since they don't come anyways. Or: School only begins at 9:00 with special prizes for those who arrive before 10:00.

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    1. I don't know why such schools are not everywhere!

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    2. Well, why aren't you starting such a school in your town?

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  2. I am not sure why demonization of parents (of other students) is appopriate in this instance. We dont have all the facts and i would like to give a benefit of the doubt that the hanhala of the school has more sense than a plank of wood. In regards to school with lax policies when it come to their students, is that really a good approach in the long run? When should a child learn responsibility and consequense?

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  3. Let us assume the facts are as stated. The famous video with Rav Shteinman (I have updated the post to include it) indicates that it happens.

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  4. Cross-posted from Haemtza: I'm going to ask a very un-PC question: Sure, you are right that the schools and the other kids' parents share some blame. But what about *these* kids' parents? The old expression is "I wouldn't want to be in a club that didn't want me as a member." Don't these parents bear a little responsibility for pushing and pushing to get their kids into schools that didn't want them- to the exclusion of all others- which then, surprise, found a reason to throw them out? Aren't they, too, guilty of frumkeit and elitism?

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    1. There are many communities with no options. Lakewood is obvious. But even in Brooklyn. Each sociological stratum offers relatively few options and it could be traumatic to jump to a different stratum. Certainly in a smaller town in Israel you have real problems.

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  5. It isn't right to assign a special place in hell when you don't know the story. The specifics were altered as per the letter.

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    1. Ein la'dayan elah mah she'einav ro'os. If there are extenuating circumstances, I am sure in Shomayim they will take them into account.

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  6. Interview with Malky Klein's father:

    https://s108.podbean.com/pb/4a3c9474adb635ded01ad41b31bae1d3/597e587b/data2/fs31/769564/uploads/headlines_7-29-17_part2-full.mp3

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  7. A comment on RHM's blog post:

    flatbushmom • 37 minutes ago
    I'm going through this right now with my daughter. She is in HS and not a good student and emotionally she is broken. I'm ready to throw in the towel and send her to public school. I work in one and the kids are treated way better than my daughter. It's disgusting and there is a special place in hell for a couple of principals, deans, and teachers that I could think of. I never write comments but this is a bit too close to home.

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    Replies
    1. Flatbush Mom: Try Jewish Center for Special Education, Google "Jewish Montessori schools," and Try Hebrew Academy for Special Children

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  8. I think there are two issues being combined here that should be addressed separately.
    1. Academics should be secondary to derech eretz, middos, self esteem, and hashkafah. I think this isn't controversial. However the second point is more so.

    2. The second issue isn't spoken about totally openly but might be inferred by the bad friends and pizza shop. What should be done about students who are have inappropriate relationships with members of the opposite gender or otherwise doing things against halchah (drugs, media) which could influence other students.

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    1. 1. Agreed.

      2. If they need to be removed, as a last resort, the ejecting principal and staff must take acharayus in placing the student and tracking his or her progress. Not like the Rosh Yeshiva who spoke to me once in the two years my son was at his school, after a disastrous year with an ogre for a rebbe, nastily informing me that my son could not return for the following year, and that he had no further responsibility to the talmid.

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  9. I'm sorry to hear about your son. Someone recently told me he thinks the biggest problem with these types of issues is a lack of communication. Which seems to be the case in your situation. Another factor that comes to mind that may be relevant here are people who are "too busy" to deal with it yet are in the position of responsibility. It seems to me that a Rav or rebbe or whoever needs to take time and a lot of time talking to their talmidim building a personal kesher and relationship, inviting them to their homes. We have to treat each other like people and take the time to understand. How could they make time when struggling with parnassah and their own families? I don't know. But there are those who do it.

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